June 19, 2017

♥Feel

Image result for girl hiking tumblr

Eh, hello there.
Its been a while. Nah, its been fucking years right? how i miss writing.

"I wish i could fading away. With no one will notice, with no one will know about my disappearance, with no one will ever care. I just want to being born again. Fix my mistake. Fit the path that i take. Fix everything that make me feel that im a freaking useless.
Im not saying that im giving up. But life just too hard for me to being strong. I need more than strong to get through this. Theres alot of things getting in my way. Theres alot of wall that i need to break. I cant. Every single thing is getting harder and harder. Sometime i wonder, am i in the wrong path? Am i doing the right things? am i okay? Why im still doing this?"

Paragraph above was from my entry back then in 2015. Before i do this entry, aku scroll back to my previous entry and i was like daaaaaaaaaaaamn my writing was so good???? why now macam tahik? Ohoy, how i misssss writing. so much. I miss how i can interpret my feeling into word, how i am be able to write and feel so damn okay after that. Aku rasa that skill dah lama terkubur selepas aku quit UiTM. Hahaha. Theres a quote yang aku baca kat mana tah, its sound like this;

"Some write because it helps them to sort out their feelings. Some have a story to tell. And some write because nothing in the world makes them happier" 

And i think that quote answer everything. How "good" was my sad in life back then until aku dapat tulis something quite good like that? Kah. Apakah seorang Hana pada masa dahulu? What was on her mind? Like seriously? 

Okay, back to the paragraph that i copy and paste here,
today, in this freaking hour. Aku rasa aku dalam medium deja-vu. What i feel right now is quite same like how i felt on 25 November 2015. Dan semestinya, why im feeling this way is not about what im having now. im very, not very but totally happy with apa yang aku ada sekarang. Apa yang aku achieve sekarang. Im doing good with my study. i fulfill all of my wishes. and i think its all good? But yeah, its feel something is very wrong somewhere.

I think i have to do some re-checking, upgrading and re-packing how i live my life. Fix some mistake. yes. Fix that mistake. I have to. Before its too late. Adios. 
June 17, 2016

♥久しぶり

久しぶり-hisashiburi-Long time no see.

Yeah, been a half year im being away from this blog. I think this is perfect time to say that, i'll no longer updating this blog since im busy with my life, and also i did not have that writing talent anymore. lol. 

Its true, everytime when i feel like seriously very excited to tap on my keyboard to write something, my brain freeze. Totally freeze. and aku rasa aku takboleh nak endure rasa sakit bila nak tulis, tapi otak aku freeze. sungguh weh, sakit rasa dia. Haha. Actually, nope. For now, aku rasa better aku stop menulis. Sebab apa? sebab yeah aku ada life. Haha 

Aku start this blog dulu pun sebab aku bosan, habih PMR taktahu nk buat apa, jadi hiduplah blog ni. Tapi skarang, aku dah ada life, this blog no longer needed. Hahahaha, nnt bila aku dah takde life, aku kutip kau balik ye, blog. Harap kau masih setia menunggu aku. Huhu. 

 So, this is it. farewell my friend. see you when i see you. adios ;)
January 22, 2016

♥ New place.

missing myboy T_T

Yeay it almost a month im here, in Kolej Sains Kesihatan Bersekutu Sultan Azlan Shah. (KSKBSAS). Hehe. Boleh tahan la. First first je rasa macam semak sikit, then lama lama dah boleh adapt. About my orientation, its a good thing! lol first time aku cakap orientasi ni benda bagus. lol. Aku pun still contact with my first group ever since being here. Even group whatsapp kitaorang pun still active. Kahkah. Group aku nama ActiveFast. Lol. Group aku terdiri dari pelbagai peringkat umur. Haha. 25tahun ada 23 ada 20 ada 18 pun ada! Nasib aku golongan pertengahan. Even berbeza umur, kitaorg tak pernah pun beza bezakan, ko muda ke ko tua ke, kitaorang bersembang pun main "aku hg kau ko" je. Takde la ber kak adik abang bagai. Yeay! Baru la tak awkward kan? Haha


So i must say being here is not bad at all. Nothing make me sad. Nothing goes wrong. So far so good? Very good i guess? Tapi, takboleh lari dari perasaan takut, sebab dengar-dengar je taklimat bab rules, terus cuak. Quite strict. T_T Berbeza gila dengan UiTM. Tapi, takpelah nak buat macam mana. Mana tahu by this way, boleh ubah diri aku yang tak berguna ni? Kahkah. Masa assembly bulanan haritu, ada anugerah untuk pelajar cemerlang. Peh, senior senior pharmacist 20 orang deans list. T_T Tujuh orang 4flat. Sumpah rasa semangat terus nk bagi dapat deans list jugak. T_T Doakan aku.


Weeee im happy being here ^^ tak sabar nak naik naik dan naik sem! Nak posting! Nak segalanya! Im so eksaited lol. Jangan eksaited sangat Hana, nanti ade la tu benda tak kena. kehkeh. Takpa pray for the best, kita hanya merancang. Yang lebih mengetahui uruskan segalanya. My class ada hundred lebih student. 111, i guess? lucky number lol. Mula mula tu mmg payah jugak la nak hafal nama, muka setiap sorg. Kahkah. Tapi its ok, slow slow, time by time nnt ingat jugak semua orang. Orang borneo ramai jugak dalam class aku. 1/4 mungkin? Dengar dorang bersembang mmg best. Walaupun tak faham apa. Kahkah. 

Tu je kut aku nak cerita. Nanti ada masa aku update pasai my study. Subject dia macam mana. huhu. moh le berkongsi cerita. Sebab aku sebelum nak masuk sini, aku search bab penolong pegawai farmasi ni, tapi takbanyak pun info. Ada satu dua blog je yang cerita. Takpe, meh aku jadi orang ketiga yang cerita pasal course ni. Hehehe ^^ adios.