♥Hiraeth

Untuk yang pernah ada, cukup.

12 February 2019, 

selamat ulang tahun awak.

i saw your stories, her stories on instagram.

You had a great birthday yeah?

Tbh, im jelous. That should be me with you? 

Nah.. I idk.

Didnt move on yet, maybe?

i realy don't know what i should do about this.

still loving you? 

or just cant move on? 

or maybe i just cant forgive you yet?

You brought her to see your mom.

You didnt do that with me?

You bought her things.

You didnt buy for me? not even on my birthday.

You showed her off, 

you were proud of her, 

you praised her in public.

You didnt do that for me?

I honestly did not know what you felt about me when we were together.

I dont know what those 5years meant to you. 

I just do not get it.

You left me with millions of thoughts. 

Just like that.

was i not enough? 

where did it go wrong? 

what did i lack?

should i have done better? 

was my effort still not enough after all this? 

did i not meet your expectations? 

and what did your "iloveyou" mean on every single night and morning? 

What made your heart change drastically? 

What about all our promises? 

Your promises to me? 

But yeah, youre my past now. 

Too many questions still lingering around.

Sigh... 

No matter how many times my mind says "it is what it is" 

But still, deep down in my heart wishes shit was different.

Happy bithday. If happy is her, im happy for you.