December 27, 2013

Journey of four month.






So.. Hai everyone. dah berapa lama tak update natang ni? haha dekat dekat 4bulan. haha ingat nak update nnt new year. tp tetiba hati membuak buak nak update lol. update sambil makan nestum 3in1 ni best jugak eh? Haha tetiba. -.- so hows your life guys? tanya hantu. nobody reads my blog. hahaha its kind of diary that i gave to all to read but at the end nobody have interest to read it. hahah weird. people nowdays.... what have been give dia taknak, tp yg tak bg tu yg dia mngada nak. hahahaha apa ni tetiba ni. Aiyo. so kita flashback in August.  

August ;
that day dah update pasal raya. Typical raya. Snap family portrait. Then tayang muka depan tv till night. The cycles goes until cuti habis. Ha ha. yeah thats my definition about raya. Bored. ( -.-) eh tapi ada diselitkan dengan study memandangkan lepas cuti tu terus trial kan. tapi kan.. kan.. kan.. yeaaaaaaaaaaaay this raya is the first raya i celebrate with yang tersayang :') how sweet of him when he wish me selamat hari raya... :') lol kinda miss that day. so yeah trial was not bad. time buat tu mcm confident je boleh buat. mmg boleh jawab laaa. rasa mcm senang but when its come about Addmath, Chemist, and Biology hahahaha its not. Chemist benda yang paling aku tak faham and even takkan masuk otak pun kalau belajar teruk teruk. Mmg aku takde minat sekecil kuman pun dekat chemist. so here goes September.

September ;
Hahahaha result month. Hahahaha punya confident laaaaaaa boleh jawab trial. Ingat boleh laaaaaa cekau tiga empat lima A. hahahaha Last last mcm bangang je. Mcm tak belajar. Even BM aku pun teruk? hahahahaha srsly mcm tak belajar. result trial pun mcm ni ntah ah SPM mcm mana. Haiyo shedih. ntah la. Then bulan seterusnya...

October ;
ermm.. hmm... ermm.. ermmm........ hahahahahahaha i didn't remember anything that happen in this month? srsly. kalut nak SPM maybe? Busy belajar. Maybe. Kan aku dah dpt result mcm bodo. Kalau aku tak study mmg tahap bodo aku tahap abadi ah. Semua semangat SPM time ni. Semua mcm study hard je. Aku pun teptiap petang gi library study. Ada masa free je gi library study. Boleh dikatakan study hard jugak la. Mane tak faham ditanya. Mane yg tak reti lagi buat latihan banyak banyak. Perbetul mana yang lemah. Yeah soo.....

November ;
yeah my birthday month. surprise party in class. 17 y/o. 03-11-2013. Tapi haritu aku baru dapat tahu.. in that date.. ergh rasa bodoh, kecewa, terfikir sampainya hati and serius sedih gila. Hahaha takpela benda dah lepas. :) Perlu ke aku sebut benda tu dlm ni? hahahha pasai blog aku. hahahaha. Dah boleh ambil lesen kereta. muehehehe. Hahaha teringat time dorg nak buat surprise party tu. Lepas assembly aten sibuk sibuk nak tarik aku ke tandas even aku taknak. Hahaha i didnt expect anything bc mmg dah dia akan tarik aku mcm tu kalau dia nak terkencing sangat. Aku pi la jugak teman dia. hahahaha. Sengal kau aten. Yeah also first time celebrate birthday with my love one :') masuk masuk kelas nmpak muka senget Aina pegang cake and bebudak lain nyanyi birthday song. Awhh... seriously cant say anything masa tu. Senyum je memanjang. Hahaha. Miss that moment so much. Suap my love one :"> Too many hug that day. :"> Dah dua kali dorg buat surprise party for me. First one time form 3. Dorg nyanyi atas pentas lepas habis buat teater Bawang Putih Bawang Merah. Hahahahahha. Then this year is the second one. Hahahaha. Omg srsly i love you guys so much. I'll remember you all for the rest of my life. Promise. 







So.. that the picture for my birthday. Hehehehehehe. The next day ke hari yg sama ntah buat jamuan kelas pulak. Rasanya keesokkan harinya. Hehehe. Orang semua sibuk study nak SPM. Kami sempat lagi buat jamuan. Hahaha takpe asal happy dapat rasa makan sama sama sebelum berpisah nanti :') Memula ingat nak buat kat kelas. Last last makan kat garden ape ntah tak nampak mcm garden pun. Dekat dngan makmal tu. Hahahahaha. Lagak lagak picnic la konon. Last last mkn tepi longkang. Tepi tangga. Hahaha. Tikar tak muat. Hahahahaha. Takpe asal makan together - gether :') So here goes the picture....







Ni gambar satu kelas. Tapi ade sorang tak cukup. Sedih. Gomey takde. Dia tak hadir. Takpe ah nak buat cannneeeeeee kan. Nnt crop gambar dia masuk. Hehe. Then dua hari lepas tu SPM. Sampailah bulan December..

December
SPM till 27 Dec. Alhamdullilah aku boleh buat. Boleh la. Tapi tak janji for subject Addmath, and Chemist. Aku tahu aku jawab merapu. Haha. Yang lain InsyaAllah. Tapi tak janji jugak T_T aku rasa stakat B C D boleh la janji. Nak A tu mcm susah sikit. Haih.. Ntah la? Then sehari lepas tu lepak ramai ramai kat Giant. Pergi karaoke walaupun aku and Farah backup singer je. Qila, Aten and Najwan yang melalak dalam tu. Tengok The Hunger Games 2. Lepas tu bowling. Lepas tu pi date dua aww. hehehe

Lepas ni result SPM menanti. Hahhaahha. Mmg mati kalau aku takde A langsung. Serius mati. Aku duduk dlm bilik senyap senyap. Tak keluar sampai dua tahun depan. gila. Aku tak dapat bayangkan kalau dapat macam tu. Mmg menyesal tahap abadi. Skarang pun aku dah menyesal kenapa aku tak buat elok elok? Hahahahahahaha bangang ah hang Hana. Sekarang baru nak reti menyesal. Dulu tak reti nak sedar sedar. Pasai. Sekarang ni tengah menganggur. Takde kerja nak dibuat. Ade kerja tapi tak bergaji. Jaga anak sedara T_T Letih tahu. Bebudak ni tidur pukul dua tiga empat pagi. Then esok tu pukul tujuh lapan dah bangun. peeehhh rasa nak penampar. Pehtu takpala petang dorg tido balik. Yang kita ni? T_T takboleh nak tido dah. Aiyooo. Rasa nak tidur dua bulan lepas ni. Rasa mmg dah bersedia gila nak jadi ibu. Hhahahahahahahaha tetiba. Takpe ah dah banyak sngat aku merapu. Tunggu 5bulan akan datang pulak aku type. Bye, xoxo 
August 5, 2013

Hari raya. Eh yeke?


So.. Hai everyone. Its about a month gua tak update benda alah ni kan? Weh busy weh tolong ah. Tak de masa ah nak update benda lagha begini. Hahahaha puih. 

Memandangkan two weeks holiday for Hari Raya, update ah kan. Bangang ah takde idea nak tulis apa. Serius rasa diri bangang gila bila takde idea. -.-

So apa yang jadi in Ramadhan? For me? Dapat jalaninya dengan baik lagi lancar. lol dah kenapa ayat skema ni? Takpa test nak tulis karangan BM for trial ni nanti. Blergh. So sepanjang bulan Mulia ni, there're so many changes and good thing happen. Alhamdulillah, I just love it! So talk about Ramadhan, 19 July haritu kami satu kelas gi berbuka sama sama! Yeayyy. Syaih, Fakhrul and Farah je xde. Hmm. So kat bawah ada gambar, tilik la muka diorang satu satu. k?





Dua minggu cuti. Raya dua hari. Sehari sekolah, esok tu Trial SPM and im still here while others  rushing siap kan tu, siap kan ni, nak study lagi. Haha watlek. Ceit watlek, dapat result buruk haaaaaaa watlek ah time tu. Orang dapat tawaran merata gi luar negara bla bla. Aku tayang muka mintak order kat coolblog. Eh? Tetiba coolblog. Hahahahahaha. Aku still ingat kata kata ayah aku time dalam kereta ntah menuju ke mana haritu.. "Nanti in future, baru adik tahu macam mana susahnya hidup. Ayah yang jadi cikgu ni pun kadang kadang rasa tak cukup nak sara hampa semua. Sekarang ni memang la adik rasa senang, apa adik nak adik dapat. Adik jadi leka. Nanti bila dah hidup sendiri, dah ada tanggungjawab, dah ada anak, dah ada family baru adik tahu. Payahnya hidup. Peritnya hidup. Masa tu adik dah tak boleh nak undur, dah tak boleh nak ambil balik SPM yang adik sia sia kan tu, dah tak boleh nak menyesal dengan apa yang pernah adik buat dulu. Don't regret on what you've done, what you get nanti, is what you choose to be" nah menusuk kalbu sia. Aku terus terdiam dari menjawab apa yang my mum cakap sebelum tu.

Pastu dia sambung lagi "Try salin apa yang ayah tulis ni dalam diary adik, kalau ada diary la. Alah salin jela kat mana mana pun. Nanti bila dah tua adik baca balik. Kalau adik still dengan perangai macam ni la. Kalau dah berjaya, dah kaya, ntah ntah adik dah bakar diary tu, adik dah tak ingat pun jalan nak balik rumah ni jumpa ayah mak. Hahahahaha" Dia gelak, aku still terdiam kat belakang. aku tahu dia bergurau. Tapi gurauan dia... Aku tahu dia sisipkan harapan yang besar untuk tengok aku berjaya, dan jadi anak yang baik. Time tu terus rasa sebak. Rasa nak berguling guling dalam kereta menjerit ayah jangan cakap macam tu. adik sayang mak ayah. then nak peluk dorg kuat kuat. Tapi aku tahankan. Aku mengesot ke belakang sandar dengan tenang berlagak takde apa yang berlaku. Padahal dalam hati, kilat sabung menyabung. Ego aku mengatasi segalanya. Weh i'll never forget my parent. My parent yang jaga aku dari kecil. Even aku nakal macam batak. Even aku malas macam sloth. Degil yang tak boleh dirawat lagi. Dorg still jaga aku. Still bagi nasihat tak putus putus. Still sayang aku. 

Aku tak tahu nak mula dari mana. How to start? where to start? and aku fikir macam dah lambat sangat. Tetapi tiada yang mustahil. Hmm bye, apa apa pun, tiga hari lagi raya. Ramadhan dah nak tinggalkan kita. Pagi ni suasana redup, sejuk angin dia. tenang sangat. Even tadi aku pun bgitahu kat ayah bila ayah buka pintu rumah, sejuknyaa kat luar. Mungkin Lailatulqadar melawat kita  malam tadi? Mungkin. Rasa rugi memuncak. maafkan aku dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki. Maafkan. Doakan aku. :') Bye, xoxo. 

Oh Allah, bestow your Mercy upon my parent as they cherished me in my childhood. Forgive their sin. Take them away from your punishment and your neraka. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

July 10, 2013

Happy Ramadhan!


HAPPY RAMADHAN GUYS!!

Thanks to Allah for this opportunity to meet Ramadhan again this year :') May Allah give us patience and peace in this holy month. May Allah accept our Doa. May Allah bless us in every second of our breath in this beautiful month. May this month can help us turn to be better person.  Amin. Take this chance to be more closer to our creator, Allah and gain more pahala to reach our biggest dream soon, Heaven. InsyaAllah :) Happy fasting! 

So... Hi long time no see. Quite busy with life. Update this thinggy just to wish you guys about Ramadhan and to tell you guys that i'm still alive! Haha and one more thing, i am now can control my-freakin-self to not to waste my precious time on online thing like blogging twittering fangirling and so on. Yeay me. I've unlock one padlock that block me to achieving my own success. Bhahaha okay.  SPM is just around the corner. Please wish me luck guys. Seriously i don't freaking have any of confidence to face this. I don't even want to face this. HELLO... im just 17 to face this big exam that can effect my future. Im only 17 okay. Please do pray for me. Cis bukan ada sapa baca pun blog kau Hana, bajet je. Bye, xoxo. 
June 4, 2013

My holiday.


So... Hi eveghiebody ^(oo)^
Hows you guys punya holiday? Mine? hahaha GREAT have been travel all around my house. -.- Tak pergi mana mana pun. blergh. Have no transport, have no money, have no anything! Macam mana nak keluar jalan jalan huh????? Merayap dari bilik ke computer, dari komputer ke bilik mak, dari bilik mak ke bilik kakak, bilik kakak kacau hidup Aishy and Aishya, then tv pulak, then makan, then tidur yeay this is the productive holiday EVER!

Weeee today 04 June 2013. Let me laugh first. Hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha
hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha -.- six more month to 2014 and thats mean I have only approximately 5 more month to SPM. Wehehehehehehehehehe i can die. Seriously die. Hahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahhahaahah Be ready SPM army, you're all in danger. Seriously danger situation. Blergh. Forget it. N a n a n a n a n a n a n a n a n a n a \(^o^)/

Eheh tengok senior senior yang dah habis spm semua dah sibuk pack pack barang nak futher study. wehe tahun depan aku pulak weh. ehehehehe. Semua pakat tanya kau dapat mana weh ambil apa weh, aku jauh beb taktahu nak pergi ke tak. bla bla. hehehe he he he he tahun depan aku weh. ehehe heheeh ehehehe. Yang penting aku taknak form six. -.- Aku taknak sekolah dah. Tak nak tak nak. Kena still obey with rule sekolah la apa la. weh im freeeeeee when im 18 okay.

But wait..... if this year have only six month left..... its mean six month left for me and my friend to being together.... :( After this, everyone have to take their own path. No more school. no more best moment together. No more laugh until ke KL pun boleh dengar. Kan? :( oh Allah, seriously i can't imagine how my life without Aten, Aina, Pakdan, Syaz, Qila. (umie and farah sikit) weh jahatnya aku. Hahahahahahahahaha. Hmm what ever you do what ever you choose after this please promise me you wont forget our laughs, our jokes, our smiles, our conversations, our plans, our tears, our memories, our experiences, and lastly our FRIENDSHIP. Please? I love you guys so much. So much till i can't describe it into any word.

Nah me being so emotional. Weh mana tak emotional nak berpisah dengan kawan kawan kot? Yeah i know every meet up have their own ending time. But not this one. Yes not this one. "Weh benda boleh kawan lagi kot walau dimana pun kita berada" Yes yes, but i know it will not freaking same with what we have now. It will at least changed, if its not a big change, it will be a small change. Right? Heh. Weh apa apa la. As long as our friend's name is in our doa everyday, well at least we can still connect with them through Allah. :')

and.... what to write now? Losing mah idea already....... 
Weh aku scroll down my old post. Hahaha rasa nak penyepak diri sendiri dari jauh. Hahahahaha. Bajet siak aku dulu. Heh weh serius takde idea. Nak tulis kebenda ntah. Aku rasa dari mula tahun sampai sekarang post aku benda sama ja. Kan? hahahaahahah Four more day to school. Weheeeeeee two weeks of holiday. Nah buang masa. Im not even touch any freaking book. eh nope! Pegang jugak ah, gi extra class Math haritu. Dapat kertas. Weh tu bukan buku tu kertas. and be ready for the result bukak sekolah ni! Mintak mintak ada peningkatan T^T *muntah pink*




Weh baru teringat, bila la nak dapat bunga ni eh? Hahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahaha. Rasanya lama dah ni, lupa nak mintak. :o Bye, xoxo. 
May 3, 2013

Grenade in my head.



So.. Hi everybody ^(OO)^
This monday, exam. Oh God why. Why need exam? Feeling like i just finished last exam yesterday and now another exam is COMING? wtf. and im still sitting infront of this freakin computer, fangirling toward 1D, scrolling twitter's timeline up and down, stare this screen without make any movement, exploring tumblr, and do nothing? It is necessary for me to still online? Blergh why me. Idk why i have too much allergic toward books. -_- 

Haih, my last update about i wanna change my schedule and my life for SPM is completely rubbish. Freaking rubbish. I can't control myself. If im not online, im with phone. If im bored, i'll disturb everyone's life. When i feel i "doesnt" have work to do, i SLEEP. DEY HANA, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IN FUTURE HUH? 

Haha INSANE. I think i should do my first touch on book now. Seriously or i'll suffer for more failed. Wish me luck for being in this war. You can do it Hana, you can make it Hana. You can achieve more As in this exam Hana. You can make new phone in your hand Hana. lol? Haha my mom promise me a phone if 6A is in my result paper. Haha parah je kan dengar? t_t Let it be. You can dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it Hana. Yeay me motivate myself. OMG, how good am I. I can be counseling teacher in my school replace that shining head one. Eh? Nak exam Hana, jangan kutuk cikgu la :(

Berapa kali dah merapu dalam blog cakap nak berubah. Tapi haram tak jadi apa. Makin teruk ada ah. Weh tak makin teruk k. Okay ah dari Form four kan. Form four lagi main main. Main sampai tak boleh nak buat apa dah. Time main pun aku main main. Haaaaaaaaaa, macam mana tu? 

Dah ah bye :( Im going to cuddle with the books now. :( Computer, please help me. :( Don't be jealous. :( Okay? :( Love you. :( Bye, xoxo. 


image

April 27, 2013

Kaaaaaaaraaaaaaaokeeeeeeee


Can't believe you're packing your bags 
Trying so hard not to cry 
Had the best time and now it's the worst time 
But we have to say goodbye 

Don't promise that you're gonna write 
Don't promise that you'll call 
Just promise that you won't forget we had it all 

'Cause you were mine for the summer 
Now we know it's nearly over 
Feels like snow in September 
But I always will remember 
You were my summer love 
You always will be my summer love

Wish that we could be alone now
 If we could find some place to hide 
Make the last time just like the first time 
Push a button and rewind

Don't say the word that's on your lips
 Don't look at me that way 
Just promise you'll remember 
When the sky is grey

So please don't make this any harder
We can't take this any further 
And I know there's nothing that I wanna change, change.

Bye, xoxo. 





April 17, 2013

Can we start it all over again? :')


Said I’d never leave her cause her hands fit like my t-shirt, 
Tongue-tied over three words, cursed. 
Running over thoughts that make my feet hurt, 
Body's intertwined with her lips 

Now she’s feeling so low 
since she went solo 
Hole in the middle of my heart like a polo 
And it’s no joke to me so can we do it all over again? 

If you’re pretending from the start like this, 
With a tight grip, then my kiss 
Can mend your broken heart 
I might miss everything you said to me 
And I can lend you broken parts 
That might fit like this 
And I will give you all my heart 
So we can start it all over again 

Can we take the same road two days in the same clothes? 
And I know just what she’ll say if I can make all this pain go 
Can we stop this for a minute? 
You know, I can tell that your heart isn’t in it or with it 

Tell me with your mind, body and spirit 
I can make your tears fall down like the showers that are British 
Whether we’re together or apart 
We can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start

You’ll never know how to make it on your own 
And you’ll never show weakness for letting go 
I guess you’re still hurt if this seed's sown 
But do you really want to be alone? 

I will give you all my heart... So we can start it all over again. 

Bye, xoxo. 

April 5, 2013

hi hello hai. The longest title in my entire life. impress isn't it?


So.. Hi ^(oo)^
Nak bagitahu, i just got one A for my first exam. Yeay me. Rasa macam nak tembak kepala otak sendiri. Haih. Payah kalau terus hidup macam ni. :o Macam mana aku nak ubah cara study aku? Haih kalau ada penyakit malas ni susah. Benda apa pun tak jadi. Haih how how how how HOW? Mencabar -_-

"Sometimes I hate getting close to people because I think they will just eventually walk out of my life no matter how close we areSue. I miss you Sue. I miss 'we'. I miss the old time. i miss form three. i miss every fucking single thing that happened before. Srsly. Sue i need you to be my adviser. i miss you being so caring about me. I miss you. Blergh why this awkward thingy must be exist? Why we're not like before. Or it just me being over thinking? 

Yeay me being such a weird person. lol gelak la kuat kuat. please? I need something to bite, kill, stab, ripped, scratch and squeeze now. Urgh. i wish i could be Spongebob. You know what i mean. :/ Never think about his problem. Never being sad. Although sometime its annoying to the max with his laugh, jokes, stupid face and stupid action. It just one way to eliminate stress, right? 

I think one of my friend is being like that now. She show full of happiness on face, but in her heart, its broken, full of scratches, full of wound, full of blood. But the saddest things is when she try to be happy, try to forget about her sad things, we broke her down, we laugh at her, we let her down, we just don't think about her feelings at all. We scolded her like she did the worst thing. We mocked her like he did the stupidest thing. We laugh at her because of her stupid actions without we know that 'stupid action' make she feel happy and free from her problem. 

Srsly, i'm not a good friend for her at all. Blergh felt stupid. -__- If you happened to read this. Yes its you. Its you. Please don't hide your feeling. Please let us know. Please make us treat you like you deserve to. Please dont try to be happy when you're not. Please don't. Lastly, please forgive me. Forgive rants toward you. Forgive me for being such a helpless friend. Forgive all my mistake toward you. I love you. We love you. Please be happy. I want the old you. Yes the old you. :') 

So...... what else? Less 7month more to SPM. and im still nothing. lol i don't know what will happen if i still being like this. Fikir fikir balik, gila jugak ah. Nak buat SPM macam aku buat first exam ni? GILA. Mati aku duduk dalam dewan tu. Otak kosong time jawab paper pure science. Then teriak sorang sorang. -______- Haih srsly i need to change it. Dapat result macam ni time SPM. HAMPEHHHHHHHHHHHH. Mati. aku. tak. boleh. bayangkan. i would literally stab myself for million trillion fuckinglion time. Fuhhhh. Hana berfikiran positive. Relax relax. Dah ah, makin lama makin merapu aku. So wish me luck guys. 

*pardon my picture. It just too cute. errrrrrrrrrr Bhahaaha. :p Bye, xoxo. 





March 21, 2013

EH?




so, hi eveghiebody ^(oo)^ 

Long time no update. Busy life. Err, not really but quite tired with this new life. This time, my life srsly have freaking much problem and too much 'dugaan'. Blergh.


Baru nak masuk 4 bulan kat sekolah tu dah macam macam jadi. Seriously sekolah tu pelik. Pelik sangat. Pelik saaaaaaaaaaaangat. Pelik sampai taktau dah nak cop pelik apa. PELIK NAK MATI. Why aku ditakdirkan ke sekolah tu? WHY WHY. :( 


Nak cerita apa pun dah taktahu. Spoil mood betul bila fikir bab sekolah ni. Pi sekolah pun sebab nak jumpa kawan and 'belajar' ja. Aten Aina Pakdan Qila Syaih Umie. Omg i just love them. Taktau macam mana kalau dah habis sekolah nanti :( Taknak berpisah dengan depa. Kawan terbaik pernah aku ada. Srsly. Aku sayang depa sampai aku matiiiiiii <3 Kalau aku pi sekolah takdak depa aku taktau la :O Mati aku rasanya.

Harini gua tengok batch '95 sekolah, ambil result SPM. Congrats to them. Yeah yeah, tahun depan aku pulak. Srsly time aku pergi tengok tu takde rasa takut apa pun. Sikit pun tak cuak or what. Nah, what just happened to me? Pakdan tengok diorang ambil result, dia yang nangis lebih. Aku rasa hati aku freeze. Hahahaha i'm weird. Maybe takde kesedaran dalam diri aku lagi. Maybe memang aku tak kisah? Maybe aku kisah tapi aku buat buat tak kisah? Hahahahaha what am i? 

Whatever. Yang penting aku akan bawa my parent naik pentas next year. 6As is enough to make them happy. But nak naik pentas nak 7As. Ah, then your target is 7As, Hana. 7As. 7As. Bye, xoxo. 



February 3, 2013

What I want??!!


Okay, rasa malu dengan diri sangat sangat. Seriously. Im not a good Allah's slave. Im not a good daughter. Im not good friend. Im not a good student. Im not a good person ever. Feeling uncomfortable right know. :( idk why.
I think I should take a long rest ever. But, in this time it may not happen. Its hard to take a long rest when you still have a family to take care of. A friend that you need to care on their feelingS. A responsibility to hold tight. Sometime, I think being alone is the best shit ever. Didn't have to care about others. I wish I have a pills that make me have no feelings at all. Im tired being such a fuck, care about what people think, what people talk, what people judge. Why im so down tonight? Why? Why I feel like im always make people sad, make people felt disheartened with me. Look, I just think about what people feels...again. I think Im just over thinking. Ugh. But, what if they really do that? WHAT IF? ah my emotion. Ahh, pms make me felt myself more bloodyshit.ah, esok sekolah. Hana, lagi setahun Hana. Sabar. I think I should die without anyone would care. I just want fucking out from this life. Its miserable. Seriously.
 
January 12, 2013

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAYN ♥


Yayy! My husband birthday today. 

12 January 1993. A boy have been born to be a STAR in future. Please don't change yourself to a man. You're still Bradford Badboi and still 18 y/o to me. I love you, even thought you fucking didn't know i'm exist. Thanks for make my life happy as fuck and ofcourse every Directioner too. Thanks for born in this world. Thanks being near with my life although it just virtual near. I wish you have a blast birthday and i pray Allah may give you guidance to be in the right path, back to your religion, Islam. I wish you'll be good enough being a Muslim soon. I know you hate when someone talk about your religion. I don't care. I just want you to be in right path. Ah my emotion. :'( Ah actually tak tahu pun nak tulis apa pun for birthday dia. Dah cukup di twitter aku spam mention diaa and aku rasa dia takkan baca. Nak nak aku tulis kat sini, tak mungkin dia akan baca. Bla bla bla.

Nak tulis tu ja kot :( Tak de idea. Bye. xoxo

HAPPY BIRTHDAZAYN MALIK.
January 9, 2013

Aku dan SPM


NOT FUCKING SURE IF I'M IN BAD MOOD OR EVERYONE IS BEING ANNOYING.
Tajuk tak boleh blah sampai mati. Hai, yes as you see. I'm online. ^^ Hello there world. Sooo hows yours 2013? Great? Aku rasa 2013 IS being great with me till TODAY. What the actual fuck. The worst day in 2013. Okay its all about my school. Thats is not my school. Macam dengan haram okay. Macam haram. Dari Form 3 sampai Form 5 hidup kami tak pernah tenang duduk kat sekolah tu. Ada jaa yang tak kena.

Nak cerita dalam ni pun bukannya boleh ubah apa apa. Nasib aku setahun lagi saja, dalam sekolah tu. Tahun depan jangan harap nak tengok muka aku dalam sekolah tu. Mungkin ambil result in March saja kot muka aku ada kat sana. For yang meluat macam babi dengan kami ni. Jangan risau, tahun depan dah takkan nampak muka babi kami ni kat sana. Hidup lah macam mana pun hampa nak. Time tu baru puas hati semua orang koooot.

Apa kami buat semua salah. Diorang buat semua betul. Kami buat benda betul pun dikatakan salah. Diorang buat salah, kami kena. Ya lah, kami memang semua perosak nama sekolah saja. Memang kami selalu buat masalah kat dalam sekolah tu. Memang nama kami penuh dalam rekod masalah disiplin. Memang kami tukang cover semua orang punya kesalahan. Macam siak.

Paling geram sekali kami baru tukar benda SIKIT, dah emo macam babi. Kami yang kena tukar first first tu takdak la sampai doa kat hampa macam macam. Teriak sana sini. Benda kecik, buat macam benda tu boleh tukar kehidupan and masa depan hampa. Tak payah la sampai nak doa doa bagai. Doa benda tak elok pulak tu. Failed SPM la benda apa la. Kepala batak hampa. SPM kot. Agak agak la. Tukar benda babi kecik tu ja pun sampai hampa doa kami failed SPM. Memang adil pun kaaan. BENDA KECIK WEH. Hampa dok buat teruk apa. Paling kurang bulan 5 habih la benda batak tu. Dah takde affect apa pun. Yang kami ni , doa hampa tu? Kekal sampai kami SPM. Tu pun kalau kekal. Doa merapu, kami pun tahu Allah takkan makbulkan. Kami tukar tu pun bukan memudaratkan sapa sapa. Takat tukar benda tu, 4 5 jam saja hampa berpisah dengan kawan kawan hampa. Bukannya selama lamanya pun. 

Yang benda sorang lagi tu pun, tak payah la nak tuduh orang merata. Lain kali sedelidik dulu. Jangan main tuduh saja. Best sangat la kot habaq habih kat semua orang, malukan orang depan orang ramai. Nak bagai tau orang, dia tu sporting and tahu segala benda tahap babi. Dia taktau dia tu memeluatkan orang. Peh, semua orang sekarang ni hidup untuk menyusahkan hidup orang ja. Semak kepala otakk la macam ni. 

Ntah la aku apa nak jadi. Apa kami buat semua ditindas. Apa kami buat semua salah. Macam kami teruk sangat dalam sekolah tu. ARGH lantak hampa la nak anggap kami apa pun. Kami tak kisah. Buat la sampai hampa puas hati. Buatlah sesuka hati hampa. Sampai mati nak benci kami pun takpa. Just STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM OUR LIFE. :D


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