♥Morning rant.

I hate night. Every single things that i do in a daylight to make myself happy, to make myself forget, to make myself strong again, to make myself feel normal again, its all fcking lost just in a one night. Its so freaking exhausted to start over again back in the morning. Your heart gonna be so heavy yet fucing empty in the morning and you just sit there crying and think what else you got to do to stop this cycle. I swear, its so fucking exhausted. 

I came to the phase where i no longer care about this world ending, it has ended for me so many times. and began again in the morning. I just hope that this world really did end. Im no longer interested to keep on fighting. I dont know why this heartbreak slap me this hard. I really did try hard to moving on, to let go for what’ve happen. But its just the same. Nothing change. My heart still feel the ache. This mind keep on forcing me to think about it. 

They say time will heal. But for how long? Im afraid that i cant make it to the exact time. Im no longer strong. Aku kecewa dengan diri aku. Aku kecewa dengan dia. Istg that being an option to someone is so fucking hurt. I didnt care if i was the second best candidate for the job i wanted, i didnt care about my bestfriend choosing someone else to be their lunch mate, i learned to be not surprised when my parent giving more attention to someone else but i didnt know why it hurts so much when you picked her over me. 

Im sorry. I really miss him. I miss myboy. I miss my strenght.